Once you have made the decision to divorce, discuss mediation and make sure you both agree that it’s the best way forward. Discuss fees, too, and agree to make time to attend the mediation sessions. Preparing for divorce mediation makes the process much smoother
When you’re going through a divorce, the big issues – children, the family home, finances – are in the forefront of your mind. But then there are 1,001 little details that will also need your attention, and it’s not always easy to remember everything when you need to discuss it.
This is where a master list is useful, as it serves as a memory aid during your mediation sessions. Your list should include:
• Real estate (family home, holiday home, rental properties, timeshares);
• Personal property (jewellery, books, DVDs, furniture, artwork, collectables);
• Bank accounts, savings accounts;
• Credit cards;
• Investment products;
• Insurance policies;
• Household expenses (mortgage, loans, insurance, fees, food, utilities etc.).
This master list will not just jog your memory when you try to divide your assets, it will also be useful when you are discussing your finances during your mediation sessions by giving you time to consider what is truly important to you and what you can live without.
Help for yourself
Do not underestimate how difficult it may be for you to be in the same room as your former partner discussing sensitive and emotional topics. So look after yourself, and consider seeking help and support from friends and family or a specialist counsellor. In Norwich we recommend Julie de Ruiter www.juliederuiter.co.uk, who is trained to help separating couples.
Another source of help and support is Linda Oram Therapies. Linda specialises in helping people through difficult times with anxiety, unresolved grief and stress. For more information see www.lindaoramtherapies.co.uk.