Is getting divorced expensive?

Getting Divorced: Know your options | Help and Advice from Cotswold MediationMost people would answer a straight “yes” with the implication that the process is often out of their control:  costs escalate, emotions get in the way of rational decisions and discussions, and the lawyers end up the only beneficiaries.

However, the cost of the divorce process is actually very much in your hands – you can decide how much or how little you use your lawyer.  The more you do and the less your lawyer does will reduce your legal costs.  Law is a service you pay for like servicing your car – you do it or you get a garage to do it.

Also, of course, the more you argue, the more it is going to cost and that cost is met out of joint assets so there are less resources for everyone.

There is, obviously, the practical cost of getting divorced.  In most cases both parties will be financially worse off as a result of a divorce because they have to live in two separate households – obviously more expensive than living in one.  A house may need to be sold and smaller ones purchased, a pension may need to be divided, other family assets – whether savings or photographs or pets – have in some way to be divided and these often involve painful and costly decisions.

However, not only can you reduce the cost by using mediation, whereby you both employ one person rather than both employing a separate lawyer, but you can also reduce the cost by only using your lawyer for part of the process rather than all of the process.

You might decide to come for some initial advice and then actually make an application for a divorce or a financial decision yourself.  Or you may see a lawyer and then go to mediation and then go back to the lawyer for legal advice pertinent to your situation.  You decide how much or how little you use a lawyer and you pay accordingly.

For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.

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Values in family matters

Values in family matters can mean those such as honour, dignity, trust etc and values as in terms of how much the property and other assets are worth.

Very often valuations are difficult to agree because of the breakdown in trust and communication that it is an inevitable part of divorce.  It may also be caused by the fact that if there is not quite enough money to enable both parties to rehouse themselves or start again in a satisfactory way, then the value of the assets become critical and therefore hard to agree.

Values in family mattersIf for instance the wife wants to stay in the family home she may have to pay something to the husband to enable him to move on – how much she pays depends on the “value” of the property.  But in reality it may depend on how much she can afford and how much she wants to stay in that house.  It may also depend on how much the husband needs together with his earning and mortgage capacity to enable him to buy a suitable or similar property.

Even more problematic are business valuations.  Very often only one of the parties will have been involved in the business and the other party may have an over inflated idea of what the business is worth.  Just because the business has in the past generated a good income for the family it does not mean that either the business will continue to generate that income or that it is worth for instance three times the profit.  These valuations are unrealistic.  What a business is worth is what anybody is prepared to pay for it and they will weigh up the risk of taking on a new venture with or without the current proprietor and so a business valuation can be very problematic.

This difficulty can be very expensive for the parties.  It can be the source of endless litigation which as everybody knows is very expensive, as well as emotionally damaging for all concerned, trying to establish exactly what the business is worth.  One party will argue that it is worth a lot more than the other – but neither really knows.  There is a strong argument for calling in experts early on.  They can help, although they also cost money, in determining the value of key assets – the family home, a pension if it is of significant value and the business.  If figures are agreed this makes negotiation much easier.  Even if the figures are not particularly palatable to either or both parties, they are at least fixed and enable negotiations to take place.

Although valuations may be expensive when money is tight – as it always is when people are separating – it may actually be cost effective to get an early and professional valuation of key assets.

Pensions have what is known as a cash equivalent transfer value but any independent financial advisor will tell you that this does not necessarily mean what it says, there are some pensions which carry significant benefits within them which mean that the face value, the CETV is actually a significant under value.  So again worth getting an expert opinion early on.

Sentiments I would also echo in relation to advice in relation to divorce and mediation too.

Expert valuations can provide clarity, not just in terms of actual price but also in explaining complex financial information or providing a professional judgement on the value of a key financial asset – particularly important if one asset, whether it be business or pension, forms a significant proportion of the couple’s total assets.

For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.

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Research reveals high satisfaction with collaborative law

An interdisciplinary research project looking at how people accessed help in family disputes has just published preliminary findings from a national survey into the three major forms of out of court family dispute resolution which are Mediation, negotiation between Solicitors and Collaborative Law.

The three year study commenced in July 2011 and is funded by the Economic and Social Research Panel.

Client at a deskGenerally Mediation was recognised as the most common way of dealing with matters outside of Court but there was also higher than expected recognition and experience of Collaborative Law, which has only really been available in Britain since 2006.  Collaborative Law also achieved the highest level of satisfaction amongst the participants to the questionnaire.  There were some problems expressed with Mediation, some clients feeling dissatisfied as they felt intimidated and unprotected by the Mediator.  There is often insufficient time spent explaining the difference between Mediation and the Collaborative process.  They may sound similar but in practice are very different, particularly if you feel vulnerable or anxious and need the support of a solicitor with you in negotiations.

In Mediation you are on your own with the Mediator and your partner or ex-partner.  That can be frightening or at least intimidating, certainly disconcerting. The Mediator does not intervene on your behalf, the Mediator is neutral.  However this can be a very cost effective way to negotiate settlements but equally it can be intimidating.

With Collaborative Law you have your lawyer with you who supports you but also in the collaborative process, both lawyers are trying to reach a settlement and it is all carried out in a very open and transparent way with all parties present.  There is little opportunity for either intimidation or for one party to become aggressive or intimidating or to be difficult about seeking compromise.

The survey found that people going through divorce found Mediation very hard emotionally as a process – but Mediation is designed to be in parallel with using a solicitor who should support you through the process.  Very often though, of course, cost means that people are reluctant to spend time with both Lawyer and Mediator.

A significant finding of the research was that of the divorce/separated post 1996 sub-sample, women who were offered Mediation were less likely to take it up (49%) then men (71%).  Although of those who did take it up, women were more likely to be neutral about the process (40%) whilst men were significantly more likely to be dissatisfied (55%).

For more information about the project see Mapping the Paths of Family Justice

For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.

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Mediation explained

From 6 April 2011 the Ministry of Justice proposed that before anyone made an application to the court in relevant family proceedings (and this is not divorce – relevant means an application in relation to money matters or children issues), the person making the application should contact a mediator.

Nicky GoughMediators must be authorised to carry out the mediation information and assessment meetings (MIAMs).  The applicant attends an information meeting at which the mediator will give advice about all forms of alternate dispute resolution.  This could involve mediation, whereby both parties meet with a trained mediator to see if the three can make any progress with regard to agreeing what is to happen either in relation to financial matters or in relation to the children.  The mediator may also discuss a collaborative process, whereby each person going through the divorce or separation has a collaborative lawyer and the four meet round the table to work through what needs to be done either in relation to money, property e.t.c., or children or both.

Hopefully a form of mediation acceptable to all the parties can be agreed.  If not, to demonstrate compliance with the Ministry of Justice pre-action protocol, the applicant would need to provide a form FM1 with their application to the court.  This is generally completed by the mediator, but can be signed by the solicitor acting for the applicant.

So what does the initial meeting with the mediator consist of?  Generally the mediator will try and meet both parties, either separately or together, and explore with them the various options available.  Also whether mediation is suitable if there is a risk of either party being influenced by fear of violence or intimidation.  A mediator can also assess whether they qualify financially for Legal Aid for family mediation.

If the parties do qualify for Legal Aid then the mediator cannot charge for this initial MIAMs meeting.  If either party qualifies for Legal Aid and they both decide to proceed with mediation, they are given the option of an onward referral to a Legal Aid Mediation Service if that particular mediator does not offer Legal Aid mediation.  The parties can decide to stay with their mediator, or choose the collaborative option.

The role of the mediator is of course totally neutral.  Mediators do not give legal advice.  For that, in the collaborative process, you need a collaborative lawyer or a solicitor, whether or not collaboratively trained.

What will it cost?

At the moment it is approximately £80 per person for attending the MIAMs meeting, or £200 per session if the parties attend jointly.

If the parties decide to proceed to mediation the cost will, subject to any particular consideration, be approximately £180 per hour per couple, with additional charges for the production of documents, depending on the amount of work involved.  The fees can be shared between the parties on a 50/50 basis, or in any other way that they may agree.

For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.

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5 more ways to avoid divorce

2 children at the window1)   Children. They can be a source of great joy, but also of great stress. Becoming parents introduces a different dynamic to your relationship. Be prepared to adapt to this and support one another.

2)   Take a look at your spouse’s parents – this is what he/she is likely to become. If you like what you see, fine – if not, a possible warning sign!

3)   Talk to somebody who has gone through the process – find out what it’s really like to go through a divorce. Some people never recover from the experience, but others go on to something better. Decide what the experience is likely to be for you. Most lawyers will offer a free interview session to get some basic facts, but don’t forget the emotional cost.

4)   Think about your friends. If you separate from your partner, how are they going to deal with it?  Who stays friends with whom? It can cause immense difficulties. But friends can provide essential support to enable you to survive the experience of separating.

5)    If you do decide there is no alternative to separating – do it collaboratively, avoid the stress and expense of a court process, which merely polarises and antagonises both parties. If you have children you will both want to be involved in their upbringing so if you cannot stay together, at least separate in a way that enables you to remain in one sense or another a family.

For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.

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