5 ways to avoid divorce

Kids playing on the beach1)   Marry the right person. This may sound obvious, but it is amazing how many people really do marry the wrong person, or fail to take sufficient time to make sure they make the right decision. Far better to try and ensure a correct decision than have to undo the wrong on later. Divorce is never easy. 2)   Don’t expect your spouse to change. People do not fundamentally change, annoying habits do not go away, things that irritate you are never going to get any better. Learn to love the characteristics of your partner. 3)   Beware of holidays.  Holidays, particularly when you have children, can be very stressful. Peak times for divorce are September after the summer holidays and January after Christmas. This may be because the family is spending time together, or expectations were too high.  Be realistic - the ideal family does not exist – nor the perfect holiday. 4)   In a similar vein beware of Christmas. It can be an extremely stressful experience entertaining other family members, dealing with over-excited children or concluding that you cannot face another Christmas in with your current partner. 5)   Remember the grass is not always greener. You may not be married to the perfect person, but what is the alternative? Would you rather put up with the person you are living with than being on your own or taking a chance with someone new? For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.
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5 more ways to avoid divorce

2 children at the window1)   Children. They can be a source of great joy, but also of great stress. Becoming parents introduces a different dynamic to your relationship. Be prepared to adapt to this and support one another. 2)   Take a look at your spouse’s parents – this is what he/she is likely to become. If you like what you see, fine – if not, a possible warning sign! 3)   Talk to somebody who has gone through the process – find out what it’s really like to go through a divorce. Some people never recover from the experience, but others go on to something better. Decide what the experience is likely to be for you. Most lawyers will offer a free interview session to get some basic facts, but don’t forget the emotional cost. 4)   Think about your friends. If you separate from your partner, how are they going to deal with it?  Who stays friends with whom? It can cause immense difficulties. But friends can provide essential support to enable you to survive the experience of separating. 5)    If you do decide there is no alternative to separating – do it collaboratively, avoid the stress and expense of a court process, which merely polarises and antagonises both parties. If you have children you will both want to be involved in their upbringing so if you cannot stay together, at least separate in a way that enables you to remain in one sense or another a family. For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.
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