Who has the children?

children walking togetherWhen parents separate a key question is what is going to happen to the children.  Contrary to popular belief both parents not just fathers, fear that they will see less of their children.  Obviously dads worry that they may not have so much contact with their children but mums worry about that too.  The question of who gets the children can and does cause enormous stress and stress can lead to anger and resentment.

A lot of that anger is in the form of assuming that the Courts in some way favour women/mothers but the reality is very different.  Most disputes over children thankfully never get anywhere near the Courts and are resolved by other means.  But the overriding guidelines are that when parents separate they both remain parents of the children, they both have a role to play in children’s lives which mean that they both have equal rights and responsibilities with regard to those children.

Obviously if they are living separately then practical arrangements will need to be made about when the children see and stay with each parent.  But if it is made on the clear understanding that whatever the practical arrangements it is a shared and joint arrangement, it can reduce a lot of the anxiety and anger.

It is helpful for both parents if they recognise that they are both going to be involved in their children’s lives whatever the outcome of the separation.

For more information or to discuss further please contact Nicky Gough on 07711 527968 or email info@cotswoldmediation.com.

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